For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an “Emily Post Book of Manners and Etiquette” on my bookshelf. Maybe everyone else does, too, but it’s an essential part of growing up in the South. The first part of my book covers introductions and addressing others in conversation and in written communication. What are the rules for when to address someone as Miss / Mrs / Mr versus their first name? How do you properly address an envelope?
These social rules for how we address each other now come almost naturally after so many years of practice and instruction from my mother. But, what about the rules for how we address God in prayer? Is there any such guidebook? What is the right way to pray? Are we praying to God or Jesus? What about the Holy Spirit, Mary, and the Saints?
Should we pray to God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit?
Praying to God the Father
Jesus taught us to pray to God the Father in Matthew 6. Most examples of prayer in the Bible are prayers directly addressed to God.
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“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” (Matthew 6:6 NIV)
We don’t go wrong when we pray directly to God the Father. He is our Creator and the one we should worship. Through Jesus, we have direct access to God. He’s not limited to just priests and prophets, but is accessible to each of us.
Praying through Jesus the Son
Jesus is the son of God. Fully divine, yet came to earth and was fully human for a time. Jesus died to give us salvation and to give us this unrestricted access to the Father.
We can also pray to Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Jesus tells us in John 14:14, “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” We see examples of the early church praying to Jesus. In fact, many of Paul’s prayers are addressed to Jesus.
I’ve struggled with this idea of praying to Jesus and how to decide when to address a prayer to God versus Jesus. It’s only in recent years as I’ve studied more of Jesus and come to know him better that I’ve felt comfortable praying to him.
When I need to address my prayers to my teacher, my savior, the one who’s walked on this earth and knows firsthand my struggles, then I pray to Jesus.
When I’m praising and worshipping, asking forgiveness and accepting grace, asking for guidance or praying for the needs of others, I usually pray to God.
Praying in the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit has a unique role in prayer. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us, helps us pray, and even prays for us when we don’t have the words.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26 NIV)
We are called to pray “in the Spirit,” calling on the Holy Spirit to help us pray and help us know what to pray.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (Ephesians 6:18 NIV)
When I’m struggling to find the words to pray, unable to articulate my deepest prayer needs, I call on the Holy Spirit. When I’m stepping out in faith, taking a next step toward where God is calling, I call on the Holy Spirit for guidance and support. When I’m praying with others and the needs are great, I call on the Holy Spirit to intercede and help us pray.
Come, Holy Spirit, Come!
What about praying to Mary and the Saints?
I think this is widely misunderstood, so here’s my take on it. People who pray to Mary and the Saints are not praying to them in worship, but as intercessors. Much like you ask friends to pray for you and with you, people pray to Mary and the Saints in the same way. It’s like reaching out to your most faithful and prayerful friend to ask for prayer.
What are your thoughts?
I’m not a theology expert, so I’m only presenting my personal beliefs. I know this topic can be full of debate across various faith traditions, so I’d love to hear your thoughts. To whom do you address your prayers – and why?
PRAY DEEP CHALLENGE: Journal your thoughts about to whom do you pray. What is your feeling about praying to God versus Jesus? How do you pray in the Spirit? Try praying to God and Jesus, calling on the Holy Spirit to guide your prayers.
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Raising Samuels says
This is a great post, Kathryn and I think you are spot on. I think this is something many people try to understand and the Biblical references only backed what you were explaining. Blessings from #bloggercaregroup 🙂
Kathryn says
Thanks! I was nervous writing on this one as I’ve struggled through these questions myself. Glad it connected with you!
Mary Geisen says
I appreciate the breakdown of who you pray to and in what situations. I also feel like I am not sure when to address God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. I love how you shared that personal struggles are a time to pray to Jesus, praise and worship to God and the Holy Spirit when struggling with prayer. This gives me a frame of reference for my own prayer time. Love this series and your deep thought in each and every post. You shine my friend! Blessings!
Robert Porter says
Here’s my two cents on intercession. Most of the time we have it backwards. It is not God who needs to hear from an intermediary who lobbies for our needs and concerns to Him. He already knows every need and concern that we have. Rather, it is us who needs different perspectives to help align our awareness and service with God’s will. By opening our hearts, minds and conversations with Jesus, the Holy Spirit, saints, spouses, BFFs and others, we open possibilities for God to work through us that we do not have if we insist on an exclusive two party dialog.
Kathryn says
I love that perspective, Robert! Thanks for sharing!
Tina says
Great thoughts on prayer, Kathryn! I never thought of praying to saints, but I like the way you present how it’s done. It definitely changes my perspective on the practice (and, if I’m going to be completely honest, I was a bit critical in spirit concerning). Thank you for sharing with us at #RaRaLinkup today. Your words are a blessing!
Kathryn says
Have to admit I’ve always been critical and a skeptic, too, of the whole saints thing – but came to appreciate the practice while journeying through infertility and found St Anne to be a real comfort. (more about that in an upcoming post) Thanks for stopping by and being open to new perspectives!
Kelly Balarie says
Kathryn, Yes! I have been seeking deeper knowledge on the Spirit. The Lord is speaking through you to me on this one. I cheer your heart and your wisdom on this post. Keep going! Cheering you from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.
Kathryn says
Thank you for so much encouragement, Kelly! Your words have been such a blessing to me. Glad God is able to use my words to speak to you 🙂
Steven Parrish says
I would disagree with the writer’s conclusion.
Who does the Bible say is the Hearer of Prayer??????
In order to understand the word of God, we have to stop trying to make it fit into our personal our popular consensus.
Kathryn says
Steven – I respect your disagreement and welcome open sharing of beliefs here. I believe you’re referring to Psalm 65:2, where God is referred to as “You who answer prayer, to you all people will come.” I do believe that God listens to our prayers and most often pray directly to Him myself. But, I also believe that Jesus and Holy Spirit, as part of the Holy Trinity, are also listening to our prayers. In the scriptures I reference, we are told to pray in Jesus’ name and also told that the Spirit will intercede when we don’t have the words to pray.
stev1parr says
I see. Would you think it wise to go beyond what is written in the Bible? Speaking or doing something in someones name does not mean that they are hearing or aware of you actually doing something. No doubt the Christ is being informed but that does not mean that he himself is actually listening to our prayers. Something as simple, basic and fundamental as who hears our prayers is clearly stated without any ambiguity in the Bible. Psalm 65:2 is not the only place where it is clear who hears our prayers.
To Whom did Jesus pray? Since he prayed a lot, who answered him? there is about three times where a voice cam form heaven achknowledging Jesus as as HIS Son. Whom would say thus person? What is his name?
It is one thing to believe because it is truth. It is another to believe because we want it to be true.
Barb says
I totally agree with Steve. We can’t tweet the bible to fit what we want to think or feel. I think the bible is totally clear on this subject. Also, about asking dead people to intercede, there is absolutely nothing that backs that up. I was a Catholic when I was young (before I came to know truth) and we prayed to all sorts of “saints”. I used to pray to “saint Anthony” when I lost something. There are actual repetitive words to the prayer even ( another no-no) and I was clearly asking him to help me find something I had lost. It really sounds absurd if you think about it. When you read and study the bible in it’s entirety, you would clearly understand what Steve is saying.
Brandy says
Thank you so much for this great explanation! I am Catholic and have always felt misunderstood when it comes to Mary and the Saints (that sounds like a band). I don’t usually pray through the Saints but the Hail Mary is such a sweet intercessory prayer, especially as a mama. I am not worshipping Mary, rather I’m asking for her to turn to God and hand Him my prayer. She can talk to Him differently because she is right there with Him. It isn’t exactly like asking a friend to pray for me, it’s better! Again, thank you for your perspective! Blessings to you!
Kathryn says
I found such unexpected comfort in talking to St. Anne while I was going through infertility treatments, and then throughout my pregnancy. She was a comfort. Thank you for sharing your perspective! Love hearing how other people pray and how different forms of prayer bring us each closer to God.
Kristine says
I’m kind of late to this conversation. I’m wondering why one would need to talk to a saint when they can talk directly to God.
maria Brennan says
The truly great thing is that we can and should pray directly to our Father in heaven, through Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus died for us and if we believe in Him we have direct access to God. Praying to any human is an insult to God. Yes we can ask our friends to pray for us while they are alive here on earth but the dead cannot hear us let alone intercede for us or answer our prayers. I do not think that Mary would be happy if she knew that any of us were praying to her.