I guess you could say our marriage was built on Friday night sushi nights. That was our regular date night (until kids came along). We were “regulars” at our favorite sushi restaurant and became friends with the chef, our waitress, and most of the staff. Dinners were slow and relaxed, often lasting several hours. What I loved most about these dinners, though, were the conversations. This was the time each week that we’d really talk and catch up on matters of the heart. It was over sushi that we talked about getting married, planned our wedding, decided to sell our city house and move to the suburbs, decided it was time to start a family. Sushi dinners became the time and place we’d go deep and we came to rely on those nights to cover the big stuff.
Relationships flourish when we share matters of the heart
To flourish, relationships need these deep conversations that share the matters of the heart. We need to go beyond the brief, daily chats and discussions about schedules and to-do lists. Those are important, but great relationships need more. Relationships thrive when you share your heart with each other.
Relationships flourish when we share matters of the heart. Click To TweetOur relationship with God is no different. So, maybe you can’t exactly take God out for a date-night dinner, but He does want us to enter into those deeper conversations with Him. Those every day prayers are great and maintain the dialog, but it’s the deep prayers, the focused prayers, that grow and develop our relationship with God.
One of the ways I take God on a “Friday night sushi date” is to commit to a period of focused prayer on a single topic. Most often these will be a period of 21 days, but sometimes longer, depending on the subject or the time it takes my heart to open to God’s answer. 21 days is great starting point – not too long, yet long enough to settle your heart on the topic and let God work on you to hear His answer.
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Why 21 days of prayer?
Daniel set an example for us in Daniel 10. He was given a vision about a great war, which greatly troubled him, so he went to God in focused prayer about it. For 21 days, he fasted and prayed. He prayed three times a day, focused and deep prayers for clarity. At the end of the 21 days, God spoke to Daniel and gave him direction.
In the same way, we can go to God in focused prayer when we are in need, have a significant decision to make, or want to pray deeply about a particular subject. It’s a great way to engage God in a specific conversation and gain clarity. It’s a way we can really share the matters of our heart with God and engage with Him in a more significant way.
21 days of prayer engages God in a deep conversation to grow your relationship. #PrayDeep Click To Tweet21 days of prayer will grow your relationship with God
Some of my biggest breakthrough moments with God, when I’ve heard Him most clearly in my life, have come through these times of dedicated, focused prayer over several weeks. It’s like the difference between talking to a good friend over texts, Facebook posts, and quick chats versus that getaway weekend with your friend where you spend a couple days talking and really catching up. It’s those conversations that spin around common threads of the key areas of concern in your life, approaching the same topic from different angles, helping bring clarity to the question at hand.
Spending 21 days in focused prayer and really listening for God – allowing silence in your prayers to give Him space to enter into the conversation – is a way to engage in that deeper conversation. Think of what question, concern, or topic is weighing most on your heart and begin praying that in a focused way for the next 21 days. Then, listen and watch for His answers.
What’s on your heart today and have you shared that with your significant other or someone close to you? Have you shared it with God? Will you take time to grow BOTH relationships and commit to that deeper level of conversation?
Resources:
If 21 days of prayer is something new to you, or you want a guide to help you focus, I’ve written a series of 21 day devotional prayer journals, called Pray Deep, available on Amazon and other online retailers.
{These are affiliate links – and my own books – so any purchases help sustain this blog.}
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Mary Geisen says
Your words are exactly what I needed to hear this morning. It is amazing that God is always teaching us and we need to be open and ready to receive. Praying for 21 days consistently in focused prayer is a beautiful idea to establishing our relationship with God as well as spending the time to listen intently. Love this!
Kathryn says
I’ve just started a 21 days of prayer because I knew I needed to get focused and serious about some prayer requests. Have always found it to be such a great way to focus and really listen. Glad these words were what you needed!
Angela Parlin says
Kathryn, This is so true! This year I’ve set aside time (almost) daily to pray without multitasking…not on the go, while doing whatever I’m doing as I had been accustomed to in the past. It has been THE best decision of the year, and I’ve grown in relationship with the Lord, which is the greatest blessing. Thanks for sharing this today…so glad I was your neighbor at #RaRaLinkup!
Kathryn says
It’s hard to set apart this time and focus, but what a difference it makes. I find I need to continually re-commit and this has been a great way to get focused.
betsydecruz says
What a great analogy between the sushi dates with your husband and focused prayer with God. I’ll have to consider a 21 day prayer effort, and see what the Lord puts into my heart to seek Him for. Maybe for my children. Thinking aloud here.
Kathryn says
21 days of prayer has been so powerful! Have just started one for some prayers that needed special focus and i’m excited to see where God takes me in these 21 days. Now, to find a way to put some focus on having those date nights again 🙂
Ifeoma Samuel says
Hi Kathryn, this is so needed. I so love your words here. 21 Days just like Daniel and when we are done we prepare our hearts for unusual miracles.
Blessings to you friend
*Awaiting your email*
Kathryn says
Yes, unusual miracles and unexpected answers! God always surprises me and I don’t know that I’ve ever come out of one of these 21 days of prayer with exactly what I thought I would…
Alison [Life of Scoop] says
Thanks for sharing this! I found you via the Coffee and Conversation linkup. 🙂 I love the idea of focused prayer – communicating with God like we do with our spouse. How is it that I go through my day having intentional conversation with many people, but not with God? I’m planning to read about Daniel now. Thanks for the challenge & the encouragement.
hollythewoo says
Prayer is what God used to tenderize my heart to His Word and His people. What a blessing! Thanks for linking this up with us at Grace & Truth!