Why Are We So Afraid of Praying in Public?

Why are we so afraid of praying in public? Why the uncomfortable moment when you decide whether to pray before a meal in public or whether or not to open your meeting with a prayer? When a group leader asks for a volunteer to lead the prayer, why does everyone instinctually look down at their feet and hope she’ll pick someone else? Let’s face it, prayer is not exactly cocktail party conversation, is it?

I often find myself in an awkward position. I write about prayer and just published a book about prayer, still, I catch myself feeling awkward talking about prayer in social conversations. I find myself, out of life-long habit, looking down at my feet when someone asks for a volunteer to pray.

Yet, I’m not afraid of prayer. I don’t want to hide its importance in my life. I really don’t mind praying in public. I pour out my heart and my prayers here on this blog for untold numbers of people to read. I’ve led prayers before large groups of women at conferences. So, why would I still hesitate to volunteer to lead a small group in prayer?

I think the answer goes beyond our comfort level with public speaking or whether or not we feel religion is a topic for casual conversation.

We don’t feel like we’re doing it right.

Is there really a “right” way to pray? Does God care if we’re not eloquent or don’t use the same poetic verses as we hear in the prayers on Sunday morning? Does it matter if we stammer and search for the words?

While there are different formats and methods for prayer, those are only techniques to help us enter the conversation, rather than prescriptive ways to pray. God simply wants to meet us where we are and enter a conversation with us. In fact, Jesus admonished the Pharisees who puffed themselves up over their great abilities to pray. Instead, he said the best way to pray was to not worry about what others thought of your prayer, but simply to pray in the words of your own heart.

“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans; for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” ~Matthew 6:7-8 (NIV)

We don’t feel like we’re the best equipped in the room.

It’s our natural habit to defer to the most senior or most experienced in the room. So, when it’s time to pray, we tend to follow that same pattern. If a preacher, a member of the church staff, or a known “prayer warrior” is in the room, do you find you most often look to them to lead the prayers? After all, it’s intimidating to lead prayer in front of these “experts,” isn’t it?

The thing is, mastering prayer isn’t about getting the words right or sounding like the “experts.” Mastering prayer is simply consistently engaging in conversation with God and speaking to Him from your heart.

And those “experts” in the room? Don’t you think it would be a blessing to them to sometimes be on the receiving end of a prayer instead of always leading? Don’t you think they’d love to see how they’ve been able to inspire and educate others on developing a strong prayer life?

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ~Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

We don’t know how others in the room feel about the subject and we don’t want to sound “weird”

How often do you talk about faith or prayer throughout your day? Or do you find it’s not really a topic of conversation at the office, with friends at social gatherings, or even with the family? So often, we push it to the back burner because we’re not sure how we’ll be received or if we’ll be perceived as that “weird religious nut who always talks about God.”

Yet, I don’t want to push it aside. My faith and the role of prayer in my life is at the core of who I am. Prayer and my relationship with God are critical in my life and I want to share that with others. So, why is it so hard to do? Why do we feel uncomfortable having these conversations outside of the “safe” groups where we know it’s accepted?

Maybe it’s okay to be the “weird one,” if that means being bold in our faith. Maybe it’s okay to feel awkward if it means sharing the power of prayer with someone else. Maybe it’s time to time to take more chances and speak up!

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. ~2 Timothy 1:6-8 (NIV)

Let’s step forward together to be bold, pray more, and engage in the conversations with others and with God!

Want more ideas on how to increase your confidence in praying out loud? Click here for 7 confidence-building tips when it’s your turn to pray.

Resources:

For more ideas on how to grow your prayer life and engage more consistently in that conversation, “Pray Deep: Ignite Your Prayer Life in 21 Days” is a great resource. This 21-day devotional guide to prayer will lead you through nearly 20 different ways to pray and explore the very nature of prayer. Commit to exploring God’s gift of prayer for 21 days and see how God can ignite your faith, whether you’re just getting started or a veteran prayer warrior looking for a fresh spark. Check out other journals in the Pray Deep series, too!

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