Why are we so afraid of praying in public? Why the uncomfortable moment when you decide whether to pray before a meal in public or whether or not to open your meeting with a prayer? When a group leader asks for a volunteer to lead the prayer, why does everyone instinctually look down at their feet and hope she’ll pick someone else? Let’s face it, prayer is not exactly cocktail party conversation, is it?
I often find myself in an awkward position. I write about prayer and just published a book about prayer, still, I catch myself feeling awkward talking about prayer in social conversations. I find myself, out of life-long habit, looking down at my feet when someone asks for a volunteer to pray.
Yet, I’m not afraid of prayer. I don’t want to hide its importance in my life. I really don’t mind praying in public. I pour out my heart and my prayers here on this blog for untold numbers of people to read. I’ve led prayers before large groups of women at conferences. So, why would I still hesitate to volunteer to lead a small group in prayer?
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I think the answer goes beyond our comfort level with public speaking or whether or not we feel religion is a topic for casual conversation.
We don’t feel like we’re doing it right.
Is there really a “right” way to pray? Does God care if we’re not eloquent or don’t use the same poetic verses as we hear in the prayers on Sunday morning? Does it matter if we stammer and search for the words?
While there are different formats and methods for prayer, those are only techniques to help us enter the conversation, rather than prescriptive ways to pray. God simply wants to meet us where we are and enter a conversation with us. In fact, Jesus admonished the Pharisees who puffed themselves up over their great abilities to pray. Instead, he said the best way to pray was to not worry about what others thought of your prayer, but simply to pray in the words of your own heart.
There's no 'right' way to pray. God just wants us to enter into a conversation with Him. #Prayer Click To Tweet“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans; for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” ~Matthew 6:7-8 (NIV)
We don’t feel like we’re the best equipped in the room.
It’s our natural habit to defer to the most senior or most experienced in the room. So, when it’s time to pray, we tend to follow that same pattern. If a preacher, a member of the church staff, or a known “prayer warrior” is in the room, do you find you most often look to them to lead the prayers? After all, it’s intimidating to lead prayer in front of these “experts,” isn’t it?
The thing is, mastering prayer isn’t about getting the words right or sounding like the “experts.” Mastering prayer is simply consistently engaging in conversation with God and speaking to Him from your heart.
And those “experts” in the room? Don’t you think it would be a blessing to them to sometimes be on the receiving end of a prayer instead of always leading? Don’t you think they’d love to see how they’ve been able to inspire and educate others on developing a strong prayer life?
Mastering prayer is simply consistently speaking to God from your heart. #Prayer Click To TweetAnd pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ~Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)
We don’t know how others in the room feel about the subject and we don’t want to sound “weird”
How often do you talk about faith or prayer throughout your day? Or do you find it’s not really a topic of conversation at the office, with friends at social gatherings, or even with the family? So often, we push it to the back burner because we’re not sure how we’ll be received or if we’ll be perceived as that “weird religious nut who always talks about God.”
Yet, I don’t want to push it aside. My faith and the role of prayer in my life is at the core of who I am. Prayer and my relationship with God are critical in my life and I want to share that with others. So, why is it so hard to do? Why do we feel uncomfortable having these conversations outside of the “safe” groups where we know it’s accepted?
Maybe it’s okay to be the “weird one,” if that means being bold in our faith. Maybe it’s okay to feel awkward if it means sharing the power of prayer with someone else. Maybe it’s time to time to take more chances and speak up!
Be bold and share the power of prayer with others! #Prayer Click To TweetFor this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. ~2 Timothy 1:6-8 (NIV)
Let’s step forward together to be bold, pray more, and engage in the conversations with others and with God!
Want more ideas on how to increase your confidence in praying out loud? Click here for 7 confidence-building tips when it’s your turn to pray.
Resources:
For more ideas on how to grow your prayer life and engage more consistently in that conversation, “Pray Deep: Ignite Your Prayer Life in 21 Days” is a great resource. This 21-day devotional guide to prayer will lead you through nearly 20 different ways to pray and explore the very nature of prayer. Commit to exploring God’s gift of prayer for 21 days and see how God can ignite your faith, whether you’re just getting started or a veteran prayer warrior looking for a fresh spark. Check out other journals in the Pray Deep series, too!
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Linda Stoll says
Oh Kathryn … this is so good. Your points are well taken and so right on. If we keep our eyes on Him instead of wondering and worrying about what others might be thinking, we’d be in a deeper relationship with the One we pray to.
Thanks for taking us there this morning!
Kathryn says
Thank you, Linda. I really needed this reminder this week.
helloredds says
What a great post, Kathryn!
Thank you for the encouragement on prayer today! I love this part, “Let’s step forward together to be bold, pray more, and engage in the conversations with others and with God!”
Hope you have a blessed day today~
Melanie
elizabeth959803 says
Thank you for this perspective, Kathryn. I actually love the joy and privilege of praying out loud in public (although this is a new passion God has developed in me as He has led me along in the practice and discipline of personal prayer). But as a women’s Bible study facilitator, I see the sea of hesitant faces around me each week and wait in the silence as I open the floor for others to pray. I appreciate your thoughts on why this continues to be so–even though I have tried to encourage my ladies that there is no “right” way to pray and that it is just a conversation with our God Who wants very much to hear from us! 🙂 Stopping by from Coffee & Conversation.
Kathryn says
I’ve been the designated ‘prayer leader’ for a Bible study group because I was the “most experienced” one and yet at the same time in other groups I have very willingly stared at the floor and deferred to other “more experienced” prayer leaders. As much as I may hesitate to volunteer, it’s always a joy to pray.
Ana (@ANAWINSblog) says
We need to not be so concerned about what others will think of us or our prayer and simply focus on our prayer and honoring God in the process. I think God blesses that. I’ve come to realize that our kids are watching us and are going to learn from us so we need to set a good, bold example to them for praying in public. Something about having kids stretches you past your comfort level!
Kathryn says
Kids do stretch us past our comfort level – daily! I was folding laundry yesterday morning and felt the need to drop to my knees in prayer. As I finished, my daughter was standing next me staring at me. She asked if I was OK. I was momentarily unsure what to say – I thought I was having a private prayer moment – but instead it was a great opportunity to model prayer for her.
Judy Turnbull says
Thank you for sharing your post. I have found myself having the same awkward moments. I’ve wondered the same things. You put it into words for me and yes, I agree, we need to be more bold in our prayers and quit looking down at our feet. Thanks for you encouragement.
Kathryn says
Now the challenge will be to boldly raise my hand the next time someone’s asking for a volunteer to lead the prayer!
Kristy as Giftie Etcetera says
I think, for me, it’s about respecting my friends’ right to not be religious. I want them to see me prayer, but I do it privately. I know a lot of Christians want to be praying more openly, but I try to evangelize through the way I live and not through words that might put someone on the defensive.
betsydecruz says
Hi Kathryn. This is a fear common to all of us! I used to be so afraid of praying at restaurants, but praise God, I left that behind. Still sometimes feel nervous about praying aloud with others though. Group prayer is so encouraging. Maybe these area the enemy’s tactics to keep us from banding together to pray!
I’m enjoying Pray Deep, and will review it sometime in November!
Kathryn says
Betsy, thank you for your well-timed encouragement! Glad you’re enjoying Pray Deep!
Belinda says
Not only is this something we need to ‘get over’ but it is something we need to intentionally teach our children – and help them grow in being comfortable to pray with others.
Kathryn says
Yes! I love seeing my children ask to lead the blessing at dinner or spontaneously start prayer in the car as we drive. It’s easier when they’re young, but to keep that spark alive as they get older is so important!
sarahgirl3 says
It really is ingrained in us to be hesitant to pray in front of people. Even after I started and ran a prayer group, it was still a challenge!
Kathleen Louise Burnett says
Very well put. Prayer is so very important, and I do think that we naturally feel that others may be “better” at it than we are. But, God delights in hearing from all His children, the outgoing ones and the introverts. Thanks for sharing on #Dance with Jesus Friday linkup.
Ally | The Speckled Goat says
Oh, this is so me. I think so many Christians have this struggle, too!
I’ve found that the more I pray aloud in front of others, the more comfortable I become– and of course, the less I worry about everyone else and more about pleasing and talking to Him, the better the whole experience.
Constance Ann Morrison says
Kathryn, I’m glad I found your post this week (via Weekend Whispers). I especially need the reminder that there’s no right way to pray. It’s a conversation–I can handle that.