My husband and I went to Italy for a trip of a lifetime some years ago. We were in the middle of a journey with infertility and in a place of uncertainty about ever becoming parents. So, we went on this amazing vacation to take advantage of this time without kids. After we toured St Peter’s and the Vatican, my husband wandered into a gift shop just outside the plaza. It was a store selling charms and other mementos of numerous saints. He wanted to find the patron saint for infertility for me. Now, I’m not Catholic and didn’t grow up in a religious tradition that focused on the saints. I wasn’t sure what all this was and what I’d do with a patron saint. I’ve always struggled with the notion that we would need to pray to an intermediary, because I’ve always known God to be accessible to each of us. Yet, this seemed important to my Catholic husband, so I followed along. He asked one of the nuns who ran the shop and she said St Anne would be the appropriate patron saint. She’s the mother of Mary, grandmother of Jesus. My husband purchased a necklace charm of St Anne for me. The charm was instantly special to me because it was a gift and reminder of our time in Rome. Yet, I wanted to find out if it could mean more. I researched St Anne and found that she is the patron saint for the childless, wives, mothers, and pregnant women. I began to think about how many women over the centuries have cried out to her in their distress and found comfort.
Not a good luck charm, but a friend and spiritual guide
So, St Anne became a friend. I wore her on a necklace that I didn’t take off the entire time I was going through fertility treatments and then through my pregnancies. I found I could talk to her about my concerns, my fears, my frustrations, my challenges. I knew she’d heard it all before. Talking to her joined me in kindred spirit with the thousands, millions of other women who also have prayed with St. Anne.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
As I began to talk with her and share my journey with her, St Anne did become a comfort for me. I could simply touch the charm on my necklace and feel comfort. When I was discouraged, feeling that we’d never be parents, I would think of her and how many other women in this same situation had found comfort and strength. When I was scared the in vitro wouldn’t work after all the weeks of shots and discomfort, I would think of her and how many women don’t even get this chance to have a family. When I was pregnant and got nervous the baby wasn’t kicking enough, I thought of her and how women had been praying this same concern to her for hundreds of years. Talking to St Anne didn’t replace my prayers to God, but they gave me someone else to pray with. Someone to be an intercessory for me. It’s not practical to find someone every moment you need that extra prayer power of praying with someone, but I found that a patron saint is someone who’s always available to you.
How might a patron saint encourage your prayers?
What is the biggest thing in your life where you need prayer? Being a mother, selling a house, finding a new job, healing for an illness, a relationship? Find your own patron saint. I’ve read that patron saints tend to find you, but here are some ideas to find one yourself. Maybe you’ll notice the same name keeps popping up and speaking to you.
- Look for a saint who shares your name
- Look for a saint whose memorial is on your birthday, baptism date, or confirmation date
- Look for a saint who is the patron saint for your biggest prayer need or your occupation
- Look for a saint with whom you feel a particular connection
PRAY DEEP CHALLENGE: Find a patron saint. Look up by your vocation, your greatest prayer need or your birthdate. Learn a little bit about your saint. Who they were, what causes they are a patron saint for, what they did in life to be named a saint. Then think about all the people over time who have found comfort through this particular saint. Consider how praying with this saint may encourage you.
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Michele Morin says
This is excellent. I, too, come from a non-liturgical tradition, but am gaining depth from looking at the traditions of others. Thanks for this post. Glad to have met you at Grace and Truth.
Kathryn says
I think we have so much to learn from each tradition. By opening our minds to see how others worship God, we can add depth and color to our own faith. I’ve fallen in love with the ancient liturgies and spiritual practices as ways to deepen my experience of God – yet I also love our more modern worships and music, too.
Michele Morin says
Have you read Found by Micha Boyett? Her book chronicles a similar journey, particularly on prayer.
Kathryn says
Yes – I loved that book!
Tai East says
This post really gave me a lot to reflect on, so I really appreciate the insight and the info. As a Christian, I’ve struggled with trying to understand whether this would be considered idolism in the eyes of GOD or not, but in reading this you really have a beautiful and powerful outlook on it and now my thoughts about it have almost changed entirely. Thank you for sharing this! Not only has your prayer series encouraged me, I’m learning a lot as well and digging deeper into areas of prayer that were unknown to me and some simply felt foreign. Infinite blessing to you, Love! 🙂
#GraceAndTruthLinkup 😉
Kathryn says
You know, I really wrestled with this one, too. I had to make peace with it and lay down my prejudices to open my heart to this prayer method. It became such a comfort to me though my infertility journey and pregnancies, though, so I’m glad I took a chance on something new.
Tai East says
You helped me to understand the purpose more than anyone else has and that made me want to dig a little deeper into it. So, I thank you for enlightening me because I was very closed minded about it before reading your post and I hate to say that because I’m very open minded for the most part. I try to really understand something before I form an opinion about it, but in this I really hadn’t done my research. So, I was excited to learn more about from you.
Mimi says
I have to share with you this. Before I read this post , I prayed to God to speak to me because I am going through infertility. I tried a natural IVF for the past two years and none of them were successful. I am praying to God to show me the next step since having a child is my desire and I’ve not given up yet. I believe the Holy spirit spoke to me through your post. I also believe God will bless me. I will pray with Holy Mary, mother of Jesus while I’m going through this process. Thank you so much and blessing to you.
Kathryn says
Mimi- I’ve been there and know how difficult this journey is! Keep praying (and I’ll keep praying for you too) – and listen for that next step.
llicenogle says
Such comfort in the lineage of grace. Thank you for sharing the saints with me – and for sharing your story 🙂
Kathryn says
“the lineage of grace” – love that! I think that’s what really connected for me on this one. Connecting to a lineage of women – ancient and modern – who have had the same struggles. To know I wasn’t alone in my trials. Many others had been there before me and prayed the same prayers. Somehow that made it all so much easier to bear. An honor to connect with you in that lineage 🙂
Barbara Ann Gareis says
I was so glad to read this line in your post: “Talking to St Anne didn’t replace my prayers to God, but they gave me someone else to pray with.” The key word being WITH. It can be comforting to pray alongside another person (or “saint”) but ultimately we are praying to God and He is the one who will answer our prayers. Here are a couple of verses that might be helpful:
Matthew 6:6 – When you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
John 14:6 – Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Thank you for sharing your heart with other women who I know will find comfort in your encouraging words. God bless.
Kathryn says
I’ve wrestled with this one – and understand it’s not for everyone. but, it is ALWAYS God to whom we pray. I have Hebrews 12:1 framed in my bathroom where I can see it each morning, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” It’s this great cloud of witnesses I think we can connect with in prayer – to pray with them and follow in their examples of faith.
Lisa notes... says
This is beautiful, Kathryn. I appreciate you sharing your struggle with the whole saint thing, but you’ve found such a sacred bond. I used to be more judgmental about things like that myself, but like you, I’ve come to find strength in having other traditions come alongside my own, to enhance my walk with God. “So, St Anne became a friend.” Love this.